Can we talk? I miss you!

It has been a while but now I have come to terms with the end of our friendship. You see, I didn’t have many friends or people around me growing up so when I meet someone and we become friends, I envisioned them being part of my life forever.

And honestly, I don’t deal well with pain and the end of a relationship/friendship. I carry the guilt of not being the best friend I was meant to be for you when you needed me. I am beginning to come to terms with the word: seasons. For a while I disliked that word due to the fact that it means change and I don’t like change. Every time something or someone new comes along, I get really scared, not knowing what they will bring. I pride myself in always knowing what I am going to be, where I am going and the exact time I am suppose to get there. As I grow, I am now beginning to understand that change is inevitable.

So when this season ended, I was heartbroken and you knew it. I did everything possible to restore our friendship to what it was. I took you along into my classroom of life. For some time you taught me so many things I knew nothing about, and so I figured you were the best person to teach me about life. I told myself that every life lesson I encountered, you would be with me; teaching me and carefully guiding me through. Little did I know that the next class I would sit in will be without you.

Coming to terms with your departure was the hardest thing I had to do. I have found that, sometimes-old things have to fall off, in order to make way for better things, even though those old things may look better. Just as all the leaves begin to fall from the trees in winter, to create space for new leaves to grow in summer, we learn that letting go of those old things is something that everyone has to deal with.

There are times, I wish my present season was my permanent home, but refusing change will stunt my growth and sap the precious life treasures, change has to offer. I now know that some people that start with me may not stay with me. So my friend, I am grateful for the many blessing and lessons you brought into my life, for the laughter and the tears we have had and I appreciate everything about you. I hope that if our path crosses in another season it will be a joyous moment for us and we can share the journey God has taken us through.

Dear God thank you for the amazing friends you have placed in my path, help me to be in the moment and to appreciate all the lessons they bring to me. Help me to realise when the season of that friendship is over so I can let them go. I know it is going to be painful but you are the one friend that will never leave no matter the season.

Love you,

Oreoluwa Esther