It has been nine months away from home and sometimes I feel like it was just yesterday. I left with tears rolling down my eyes. I thought being away from home would be devastating as I didn’t have my loved ones around me and I thought I won’t be able to make it through the coming season.
I waited for some months and decided it was time for me to head back home but it was delayed by couple more months. When the time came again for me to make arrangements for me to head back home, the same issue came up which made me downcast.
I was sad because I have so many plans and projects to achieve and the more the date continued to be pushed back it gave me panic attacks that I haven’t accomplished anything reasonable which led to comparison. I began to think about how far behind I am in every single aspect of my life. I couldn’t point at something that I thought I’d achieve for which I wasn’t proud of.
A few days later, I poured my heart out to my mother and after listening she looked and said she understood my pain. She would not like to be in my shoes but she said something that stuck ‘Comparison is the thief of joy and patience, as they say, is truly a virtue. God who made me and gave me all this plans for me to achieve will not disappoint me. She told me to take my pain and worries to God and wait for what He says; if he says yes, He will make a way for me back home and if no, He still has a plan for me to accomplish here.
I sat and prayed about my desires and God reminded me that I have accomplished quite a lot in this year that I never knew I could do, so I should be proud of myself and how far I have come. I do have a burning desire to be home with my loved ones and I’d give anything up to come back but I have learnt that God won’t fail me and I know He has a different plan for my life but He does know best and He is working out things for my good and surely as He lives, I will be back home soon but till then I have to accomplish all that He wants me to do and to make a difference in the lives that come in contact with me.
I am taking it one day at a time, one step at a time; opening my eyes to enjoy the process and journey I have been placed on and sometime I lose but learn the lesson that loss teaches me and most important take a chance in opening my heart to love again…