So for a few days now I have been contemplating on taking a break from my writing because I have been trying to figure a few things out that I have been struggling with for sometime now.

I really do find it hard to fight this battle because I feel like every time I try, I sink further. I was asked this question a few days ago “What is the one subject you know about the most, the one you can talk about even in your sleep; the particular thing you know like the back of your hand?” I stopped for a minute to think really hard and the answer that popped out of my mouth sent me into tears. Brokenness  and Pain. I know them like the back of my hand.

Just when I feel like I have gotten my life back on track and I know where I want to be, the mess comes back harder knocking me off my feet. It is easy to deal with a mess you know you created but when you happen to find yourself in one that wasn’t created by you, you lose track of everything. I hurt! I hurt badly.

I love watching the sunset, going for walks exploring the woods come rain or sunshine. I have been blessed to live in a place surrounded by nature places and in those walks I meet and discover the beauty of God all over again.

I found myself in a messy situation that I didn’t create. All sort of questions were running through my mind. In those nights, I cried myself to sleep praying, worshipping and asking God to come through for me. Sometimes I believe He listens to me other times I feel like my prayers reaches the ceiling and bounds back down.

I decided to go for a walk to listen to nature talk to me and remind myself that God has got this; after my walk I didn’t feel like I had God with me. I sent a few messages to my friends to join me in prayers concerning this situation. One particular reply reminded me of the faithfulness of God.

My week started like every other week; I speak positive things to myself and also in my week. I had a lecture on Monday that left me feeling not very confident: I ended up speaking to a friend who encouraged me to keep my focus and everything will work out fine. I got a text from my mum asking me to find a document that she needed which was in my possession.

That night, I started going through all my documents and I came across one quote I had written on a piece of paper

When you reach a point where you think there’s no way, there in lies the way.

I stopped and tried to remember what season I was in at that time 5 years when I wrote it. I had just had a terrible break up and at the same time, I had some family issues to deal with. I remembered that I found the way through God.

still looking for the document required by my mother when I came across one of my old journal from 3 years ago. I was having a browse through the book when I stumbled upon a quote that made me jump

Only when the way ahead seems impossible, then you have found it! That is God’s way- Oreoluwa Esther

I have been thinking about this topic for a while now, probably because growing up my family never had any to follow or show me. I met people that have traditions for Christmas, Easter, birthdays and the list goes on. When asked what traditions do you or your family have? I reply none and honestly I didn’t like traditions till recent; in fact I didn’t know I did one until this year.

Now that I am old enough and started having a few traditions, I have realised the importance of them in my life. The things I call traditions have become a critical piece of my life and are forming the structure and foundation of my life and the society I am building around me. They are helping me celebrate the things that really matter in my life.

Sometimes I see beauty sometimes I don’t

Sometimes I get caught in the beauty of material things and take for granted the most precious and beautiful things around me.

Sometimes I complain and groan about the things/place/people around me and forget to see the beauty in them.

I am used to seeing these things there so I get blind-sighted that I miss the beauty in them.

I see beauty in them but I am not looking at the beauty.

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