As a little girl, I was always taught the importance of sowing and reaping both at church and school. I knew that if I wanted good fruits to germinate, I had to sow good seeds, which as a good girl I did. But along the way, life’s curve balls were thrown and several mistakes I made fooled me in to believing I lost my chance.

For the life of me I wanted to make my family and friends proud, but how could I? With all these mistakes and pain, I felt that there was no proof of the seeds I had planted before.

I cried so hard and then I remembered the story of the loving God a friend told me about. I called on Him and said I had nothing left to sow but my broken heart and tears. He told me that was more than enough. I sowed it and continued to wait.

Somehow and for some reason I didn’t think the growth process would take this long. The more I waited, the more pain I experienced. I drown myself in my own tears just to stay afloat. I decided the growth process was too long and I went to dig up my seed only to discover it was no longer there.

What happened to it? I said: He replied “My child it is dead.” “What! Why did you let it die?” I asked, with tears in my eyes. “This was the last seed I had and now it is dead and decayed. I have waited so long for a fruit to show in my life and now I have no seed to even grow it.”

To my surprise, the keeper of my seed said to me “for your seed to grow darling it must first die.” “How can that be? When a seed or someone dies, isn’t that that the end of it?” He replied saying, “for seeds to grow, they have to disintegrate, which means they must split apart in to pieces. Only then will they take root and grow.”

I took His word to heart and began to ponder on it. I found out that for a new plant and fruit to grow, the old plant must cease to exist. So here I am looking at myself in the mirror and seeing the woman I had fought and cried to be. I am proud because when I wanted to give up because the pain of my growth seemed stronger than I could bear, I remembered that there is light at the end of the tunnel and the woman who I have always wanted to be is waiting for me.

I am glad that the tears I cried were not in vain but that they watered the seeds I sowed back then. I haven’t stopped sowing but now I know that for every seed I sow, there is a brand new woman with so much fruit, who will impact her own life and those around her.

And now I am okay with the process of waiting, for in due season my seed will bring forth their fruit!