I have been thinking for sometime about my journey, my process and myself. When I look at my life and those that started with me, I can’t help but think that I am a little (or A LOT) behind them. I hate it when I run into an old college friend or a secondary school classmate messages me on Facebook or twitter talking about where they are and asking me what I am doing at the moment. I am sorry to say but I always lie. I just cannot bring myself to tell them I am not were I thought I should be or where they are right now.
This makes me think of how many years I have lost and realising I cannot get them back. Some days I am not bothered about the years as I tell myself ‘’it is not how far but how well.’’ For in those years, I didn’t even know who I was or what I wanted to do with my life: I made several mistakes in trying to find my purpose.
Other days, I do what I know how to do best! Talk down about myself. I would beat myself down and begin to compare myself to other people. I ask myself, why can’t I just know what I want to do already and stick to the plan. Sometimes this conversation will go on for hours, even days and by the end I always feel like a failure.
Having not seen my father for a while because we live at opposite ends of the country, I called him and my brother and told them I was heading down south and I would like us to have dinner while I was down. I wanted to take my mind of my thoughts lately so dinner with my family was the perfect thing.
As the conversation went on, we began to talk about our present situation and how things could have been different. Perhaps we could have avoided this mess and everything would have worked out fine. But then my dad said the words that changed everything for me: ‘Don’t think of the number of years you have lost, keep dreaming and never lose your focus. You will get to your destination with God on your side.’
I took his words and began to think about it. It is true! There is nothing I have lost in this process that cannot be regained. And it doesn’t matter if I am not where I thought I should be or where my peers are. If I am in the right place God wants me to be than that is the perfect place for me!
I have learnt to embrace and stand in my process and truth and I know that no years are wasted in God’s eye.
Thanks Dad for the encouragement.