Do you remember when you first fell in love? Your first touch, your first kiss? If you don’t, I do. I couldn’t wait to see him, every moment we had together were the best times of my life. If I had a bad day; I always looked forward to hearing his voice at night because it calmed me down. His touch was like heaven and with him by my side, I truly felt like a queen. Every time I saw him, my heart skipped a lot, and his smile just took my breath away.
With him by my side, I felt like a better person, because he brought out the sides of me that I never knew existed. I felt more beautiful everyday having him with me and everyday it felt like my dreams were coming true. I laughed more with him, and he loved my flaws and insecurities that I never did.
Okay, so do you remember your first heartbreak? Well if you don’t, I do. I couldn’t believe it was over, I felt I couldn’t live another day without him. I loved him so much because he loved me and my insecurities, and through his eyes I saw how beautiful I was and now I couldn’t see that. His love gave me the confidence I never had.
I saw love through the eyes of a man and his love gave me the courage to be strong and beautiful and so I thought by loving him, I would come to love those parts of me I hated. His love gave me my identity and when he left, I had to embark on my very own identity search.
I thought by falling in love with another person it will help me find my true self again but the more I fell in love with each of them, the more my heart got broken, and the more I lost myself. I was torn into a million pieces and I didn’t know where to start finding them.
Well Guess what?
I am in love again. I am in love with my eyes, nose and mouth. I am in love with every blackhead and pimple on my cheek. I am in love with my wide laughs and smiles. I am in love with my voice and the way I write, and I am in love with my beautiful chubby hands and feet.
I fell in love with this beautifully scarred body and spirit which brings out the best in me. I am in love with the God who made the heavens and the earth. I am in love with the sun and the way the beautiful clouds look every morning. I am in love with the way the seas and oceans smell and the way the sand feels under my feet. I am in love with the very tears this girl cried every night before she slept. I am in love with the pain that was sent to make the queen in front of the mirror grow. I am in love with this girl who allowed God to use the broken pieces of her life to show people the true meaning of grace and love.
I am in love with the God who guided my conception and formed me in my mother’s womb, He knitted me with skin and flesh, gave me life and showed me love unending.
I have fallen in love again for I am in love with God and myself. The beauty I now possess is more than skin deep, it is heart deep. I am in love with all the things He created for me and I am in love with the God who made me and calls me beautiful.