I have wandered and been to so many places in my life but all the while, I never felt myself or at home. I craved it so bad! I wanted a place that I could completely be myself and express myself as a person and not what has always been expected of me.
Every time I tried to either be myself or act as I was expected to so I could feel accepted and loved, it always ended up badly. I made some many mistakes and tried to hide them because I believed that no one would love or accept me with all the mistakes I’d committed over the years!
I accepted the lie that I would never find home! I was wounded and broken from all the detours I had taken and I had to find a home for me to be treated. Where and whom shall I turn to? I had no one. So I did what was sensible of me, I covered my wounds and brokenness just enough to keep me going until I found a place I could nurse and heal my wounds.
I wandered too far that I couldn’t go any further because my wounds were becoming infected. I was all-alone in a place far from the family and friends I knew; no one will help me here! My infections were beginning to spread and I knew they would not just infect me but those I came in contact with.
So here I am in the middle of nowhere with no help. I had no choice but to cry for help. I am broken and wounded and I am not even sure I can be healed, not to talk about putting my broken pieces back together. In my cry for help, a man with kind eyes walked over and carried me. He began to treat my wounds; and the healing process was more painful than the wounds I incurred.
This man nursed me back to health and placed me among His family and included me as one! Through His love, I found Home! His love and that of His family made me see the beauty in my broken pieces.
Psalm 90:1- Lord through all generations, you have been our Home!
I am Home in His love and finding Home has made me flourish in every single aspect of my life. Home is where I fell in love with myself and found my purpose. Finding Home gave me the foundation and love I needed to be the woman I am today. I love going Home every single day/hour/minute of my life! It is my happy place!
Sometimes I still fall short. Sometimes I fail at things and have to work hard not to make the same mistakes again. But this I know: no matter what happens, I can always go home! I know love will always meet me there and Home is where I get all my support, grace and knowledge! I am so glad I have finally found HOME.
Lord, as the tears well up in my eyes and with my deepest gratitude, thank you for bringing me Home and for being my Home. I love you so much!