I have several scars on my body, some acquired through rough play as a child and some through accidents, trips and falls. I have been thinking about them lately because I was looking for a particular wound I acquired a few years ago but couldn’t find it. You see, I use to hate my scars and would use oils and moisturisers to reduce them, which worked for sometime until I gave up.
Apart from my physical scars, I also have emotional scars that oils cannot reduce. This upset me for a while but now I know that every scar tells a story and each one of them both physically and emotionally are unique in themselves. They make me beautiful. Recently, I have been having a few flashbacks that felt so real, I literally could feel the pain while sitting in my room. A particular flashback kept re-occurring and with it brought the memory of the pain.
I couldn’t believe I went through that! I couldn’t believe I endured and survived it. With this particular flashback, I remember a close relative kept asking me “How did you survive that?!” I still cannot believe I survived them. I used to tell myself that I will not make it but I am thankful God had a plan for my life. I couldn’t see it then but now looking back I see His hands in every aspect of my life.
Every scar means that I survived a wound, heartbreak or loss. Those scars make me stronger. You see, for so long I thought my scars made me weak and I felt like an outcast. I thought God wouldn’t want to use someone who had made so many mistakes in her life and had the scars to prove it. I thought for me to be used by God and to be accepted by people; the blemish had to go. So in the same way, I used the oils to reduce my physical scars I tried so hard to hide the emotional ones too.
To be honest, I tried for years to cover them up but some how God stripped the covering. My scars began to show, and to the very people I didn’t want to see them. I was taught from a very young age that scars are ugly so when they saw my scars I figured they would see me as ugly. Little did I know that my scars make me real and once I am real, I cannot be ugly.
In my getting real and revealing my scars, I have also found that I have become more relatable and my story has healing attached to it. It has been a journey and I am grateful for how far I have come.
Here is to becoming real every single day!